Perhaps Next Year Things Will Go Smoothly
by otakudrawsalot ft. KanaNoHana
Summary: On Maka's birthday, what will happen? For now, it'll be a one-shot, but I might change that later... **Contains a guyxguy pairing! SoulxKid And a LOT of OOCness... but I think it's a nice story!


Maka skipped along as she went home. She had a new bag of clothes, and (gasp!) a bra/panty set from Victoria's Secret. She didn't buy it, of course, it had been a birthday gift from Tsubaki, Patty, and Liz.

Soon, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Not a surprise—she was a little late getting home.

"Hey, Soul," she said, as she slowed her pace to talk properly. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, your stupid dad's here, and—"

"So tell him to go away. I don't want to speak to him. Wait, why's Papa even there?"

"Something—something about him seeing you at… um…" Maka could practically feel the blush through the phone.

"At?" she asked.

"MAKA! MY MAKA! WHY, OH WHY, WERE YOU AT_ VICTORIA'S SECREEEEEET?_" Maka flinched away from the phone, holding it far from her ringing ears.

"Go away, Papa. My life has nothing to do with you."

"WHAT! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! I AM YOUR FATHER! I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU! AND IT DOESN'T INVOLVE SKIMPY UNDERCLOTHES!"

"How can _you_ say _that?_ You once _bought_ me skimpy underclothes! And told me to have fun with them!"

"Wait… What? No I—NEVER MIND! IS THIS ABOUT THAT _SOUL EATER_ BOY? STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE'S _DANGEROUS_!"

A muffled voice in the background said, "What are you talking about, you old man! I'm not _dangerous!_"

"Papa! Soul is _not_ dangerous. He's also gay. I don't even know why I'm putting up with you still. Go away, give the phone back to Soul."

"But… But…"

"Just give. The phone. To Soul!"

"Maka… He's crying now," Soul said, after repossessing the phone. "What should I do with him?"

Maka, her pace now at more of a trudge than even a walk, simply replied, "Just throw him out. He'll go back to Lord Death eventually," and sighed.

After a few muffled bangs and crashes, and a final, "GET OUT!" from Soul, Maka was confident her idiot father had left the apartment. Wondering why he had bothered going to the mall to stalk her, she continued walking home.

"Hey Maka… he's gone. And why aren't you home yet? You were supposed to be home half an hour ago, at least. What's taking you so long? And were you really at… um…"

"Yes. It doesn't matter. Sorry I'm a little late. We lost track of time and Tsubaki needed new jeans, so…"

"Well, you should call me if you're going to be late. I was worried."

Maka smiled and blushed a little at her partner's blunt, yet sweet comment. Soul wasn't really that much of a feeling guy, so even a slight notion like that seemed pretty big, coming from the scythe.

"I'll do that next time. Sorry aga—Wait a minute. Who's screaming in the background?"

A rather big voice was booming something about how great he was, and how big. Maka was shocked.

"Soul, be really, _really_ careful about what you say right now, got it? Why is Black*Star over?"

"Um… Because he was with Kid…?"

"So you're saying Kid's over,too? Well, WRONG ANSWER. Let me speak to one of them."

"Uhh, sure…" More muffling was heard, and a 'what, babe?' that made Maka feel sort of intruding, and Kid came on the line. "Hello, Maka. What seems to be the problem? Is everything all right?"

"Kid," Maka said, in way too sweet of a voice, "I'll say the same thing to you that I said to Soul. Be very careful of how you answer. Why are you over?"

"Well," Kid answered, oblivious to the hidden venom in Maka's tone, "I asked if he was doing anything, since you were shopping with the girls and Tsubaki, and he said that I should come over. Since I was hanging out with Black*Star, he just came too. Is that any trouble? Oh, I also took the liberty of making your house symmetrical. Your room was—"

"Kid… Give the phone to Soul. _Right. Now._"

Now Kid heard the anger in Maka's voice, and he readily handed the phone to Soul.

"Maka…?"

"Soul Eater Evans! _What_ the _hell!_ Kid was in my _room?_ He made it _symmetrical?_ What about my closet? Did he make _that_ symmetrical, _too?_ And my dresser. He went through my _clothes,_ didn't he! I am _so_ mad at you right now! You are the _last_ person I want to see! I try to have a _bit_ of fun on my _birthday,_ and I find out that while I was _celebrating_, some _horny, prepubescent, _teenage_ guy_ is rummaging through my _underwear?_ What is _wrong_ with you? No really—is there a problem in your _brain?_ I don't want to see you today. I'm going to the Gallows. I'm sleeping over with Liz and Patty. Tsubaki was staying there, too, so I guess that's where I'm headed."

"Maka… Kid lives there, too, you know…"

"Not today he doesn't. He's sleeping on the floor of our living room today. If you protest, you're all getting Maka Chops. Actually, you're getting Maka Chops anyway, but you'll get extra-painful ones."

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

"Hello?" Patty peeked through the door, opening it a crack. "AH! IT'S MAKA! YAAAAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She held out a bright purple elephant. "Look! Patty made you a sheep! See? MOOO! MOOOOO! M—_AAAH!_ IT _BIT_ ME! DIE! DIE! _DIE!_"

Suddenly, the elephant was no longer an elephant, but a few scraps of brightly colored paper on the floor. Patty was glaring at the "enemy" furiously, as if it had tried to eat her alive. The door opened all the way, to reveal an exhausted looking Tsubaki and a quite apathetic Liz.

"Patty, it's a waste of paper if you just _destroy_ all of your animal friends. Go put that one in the recycling. And by _recycling,_ I don't mean _garbage dispo_—ohh, Maka! Why're you here? Weren't you going out with Soul?" Liz looked concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah, Maka. You and Soul are getting along fine, right? Is everything okay? He didn't try to make a _pass_ at you, did he? Oh, you _poor_ _thing_." Tsubaki went over to Maka and pulled her inside. "Come on, let's have a proper birthday celebration, okay? I'll bake a cake!"

"Here," said Liz, "I'll get us some drinks."

Maka smiled at her friend's warm words and sat on the plush and symmetrical couch. They really knew how to cheer her up. It was just too bad that the only reason she was here was—

"Oh _yeah!_ I totally forgot why I was _here!_ I'm _so_ pissed at the guys right now. _Especially _Soul! You would not _believe_—"

"He _did_ try to make a pass at you!"

"_Tsubaki!_ Of _course_ not! That's just… _No!_ What he _did_ was invite Kid and Black*Star over. On the _one night_ I ask him _not_ to, tell him I want to have some peace and quiet on my _birthday,_ he totally and completely _disrespects_ my _wishes!_ I mean, we were even going out to _dinner!_ Instead, he calls me and I have to listen to my _stupid_ Papa _rant_ about how he was _stalking_ me, and _then_ I find out that a guy was going through my _clothes!_ Gaah! Dinner is _off!_ I don't want to talk to him."

"Ohh, _Maka_. I had no idea! The _moment_ I see Black*Star tomorrow, I _promise_ I'll talk some sense into him. I'm so _sorry!_ Now that I think about it, he _did_ once try to peep in on me while I was taking a bath…" Tsubaki looked thoughtful, then snapped back to reality. "_Well,_ at least we can have some more _girl_ time, right?"

"Thanks, Tsubaki. But… Black*Star was about as innocent as Black*Star can be. It was Kid."

A crash resounded through the house and Liz's head popped through the door of the kitchen.

"Kid did _WHAT? __**KID?**__ WHAT?_ I didn't even know he was physically _capable_ of doing _anything_ remotely sexual-Especially to a girl! Oh, _crap!_ PATTY! C'mere! We _have_ to hear this."

"Alright," Maka sighed, "I'll tell you. Just… UGH!"

"PATTY IS HEEEERE! Hey _Maka,_ why did Kid go through your panties? You didn't even get to put the _new_ ones in your drawer yet! Those are so pretty! _And_ symmetrical!"

"Patty, Kid is dating _Soul_. The underwear was for _Black*Star,_ not Ki—"

"The underwear was for _me!_ Not Kid or Soul and _certainly_ not Black*Star!"

"_C'mon,_ Maka, just tell us the _story!_" Tsubaki looked enraptured with the whole idea of a scandal. Maka was a bit surprised, but then, Tsubaki usually didn't share her true feelings. She just cared about everyone else. The girl probably needed a bit of good old gossip in her system.

"Well, apparently," Maka sighed, "Kid asked Soul if he could hang out, and BAKA that he is, Soul agreed. Of course, Black*Star was hanging out with Kid, so he just _had_ to come over, too!" Maka put her head in her hands and the three girls surrounding her nodded, totally entranced. "So then, I get a call from him and my stupid PAPA comes on the phone, ranting about how I'm not allowed to go into Victoria's Secret because I'm his little girl!"

"Wait," cut in Liz, "didn't he get you lingerie as a celebratory gift after that huge test...?" Maka nodded furiously.

"I know, right? I mean, how hypocritical can you get? So anyway, he's finally off the phone and I told Soul to kick him out when I hear Black*Star yelling in the background." Maka rolled her eyes as she said that, and Patty gasped melodramatically, falling to the floor and laughing hysterically. Liz kicked her and made her shut up and sit down again. "So I asked Soul what he was doing there, and all the dumb guy can say is, 'Because he was with Kid!" she finished, mocking Soul's voice by doing a dopey-sounding baritone at the last statement. She groaned, exasperated. Tsubaki put an arm around her shoulder.

"There, there... You poor thing."

Suddenly, Maka shot up again, eyes wide. "Right! So then, why Kid was in my drawers! Apparently, Soul let him make everything symmetrical-or try to, at least. How DUMB is that? I don't even want to go home right now, I'm SO mad at Soul! Also, I don't think I'll be able to find anything. I'm not going out to dinner with that stupid scythe for ANYTHING! He can just have a nice microwave meal at home with his OCD freak perverted boyfriend."

"Yikes, Maka, that's a little intense, don't you think?" Liz pointed out. "I mean, Soul just can't say no to Kid," she said. Patty nodded, giggling.

Maka sighed, looking at them. "Yeah, that's true, I guess..."

"And Kid's gay, right? So it's not like he wanted to see your underwear or anything, I bet!" chirped Tsubaki.

Patty nodded again. "Alsooooo! Once I asked him why he thought girls were icky and...! Annnnd!" she cried out, standing on a chair. Liz pulled her down and prodded her on.

"And, Patty?"

"And he told me that girls were intimidating and gross because they were scary and... um..."

"And, Patty?" Liz repeated.

"And vaginas were disgusting!" Patty chortled, running off into the kitchen. Maka, Liz and Tsubaki sat there, staring at each other in shock.

"Kid... Kid really said that?" Tsubaki whimpered, a bit embarrassed.

"I have no clue whether or not she made that up..." Liz replied. Maka seemed about ready to pass out.

"Well... Well I guess... he really didn't want my panties, then..." she said in the same tone as the other two.


End file.
